It's never too late to date your mate

Dating is at risk of becoming extinct, especially between spouses and lifelong mates.  Before you catch yourself saying, “That’s not true, my partner and I date each other all the time,” read the following true definition of dating: Dating means spending time together without running errands, without spending an evening with another couple, or without eating out with the kids; spending at least two hours with your mate doing something interesting and fun; creating a memory together.   

Research shows that when you and your mate spend time together doing something new and different, you change your brain chemistry.  When you make a conscious effort to get out of a dating rut and experience life in an out-of-the-ordinary way, your body secretes the adrenaline-like chemicals, dopamine and norepinephrine, that make you feel light on your feet and as if butterflies are doing an air show in your stomach.  In short, when you and your mate really date one another, you don’t feel bored.

Boredom creeps up on you.  It hides behind the excuse of feeling “comfortable.”  That comfortable feeling of continually dining at the same restaurant or going to see a movie time after time is what prevents you and your mate from living a life built on creating memories.  At the end of the day, those memories play an important role in your relationship.  They keep you talking; they keep you laughing.   Your job … is simply to make them.

Kathy Dawson is a Cleveland Heights-based relationship coach who has written an ebook, 104 Dates In and Around Cleveland.  To learn more about Dawson and her book, visit  
Read More on Side by side
Volume 2, Issue 3, Posted 2:39 PM, 02.17.2009